I wanted to make a post of what I am thankful for...but I hate to admit it, I am a lump of sadness at the moment.

I was working on a quilt I made for Bella earlier today and I broke a Christmas ornament. I thought it was my parents first Christmas ornament from when they got married. I cried like a baby, twice, over it. I just realized that it was NOT that one, it was just a handmade one that looked like it. I felt so silly. But this incident brought on an ache for my mother like nothing else. I miss her so badly. I was looking through my photos on my Mybook and I hardly have any photos of us anymore. I lost them all when I lost all my photos last year. This is one of her and my brother, when she cut her hair short for the first time because she knew she was going to loose it to chemo. She always had such beautiful long hair and I never wanted her to cut it short, but when she did, she looked so adorable, I loved it.

I miss my brother too. He is away on another job. I hate it when he leaves. I hate that he is missing so much of his son's life because of work. I know he hates it too.

God, I feel like such a smuck to not saying thanks. I am thankful for sooooooo much, believe me. Maybe I will post my thankfulness after thanksgiving when I am feeling better. The list is LONG.

I love you mom.