Love you, Mom

This post was meant for yesterday...

Funny thing, I never used to do 'mothers day', we always agreed it was just another day, and that you should honor your love for you mother everyday, not just one day through a greeting card and some flowers... but now that she is gone, mothers day has a new special meaning to me. Its a bittersweet feeling.

I was so completely blessed to have my mom be mine, for 25 years of my life. She was the most nurturing, inspiring, loving mothers in the world. My nanna tells me that from the time she was a little girl, all she wanted to be was a mother. It was her calling. Of course she was also an amazing artist, wife, sister, friend, and all of the other things you could be.

I actually havent been blogging alot lately because Ive been a bit down, missing her, and feeling aching in my heart for my daddy. Just going through a bit of a nostalgic period... The emotions life carries with it, are inevitable at times...

So here, in short, is a bit of a time line of my mom. I could post the biggest blog ever with photos, so I tried to keep it short with some of my favorites. And mostly about me and her.

This is when she was probably younger than I am. She is the one on the far right, the middle is her sister, Lisa, and the left was her best friend, Bev. I love this photo so much.
Her gazing at me when i was a baby :)
Swimming at nannas house! There is another photo from this day where she is laying in a lawn chair and im walking to her with my bathing suit almost to my ankles, i was telling her i had to pee :)
feeding the deer at canyon lake.
i just love this photo, her eyes were so beautiful. i loved the color of them, my brother got her eyes. she was so happy about this cup of tea, i remember. this was a fun mother daughter day.
she always kept these two photos together because of how much we look alike, we were about the same age in these photos. and this is the longest my hair has ever been!
ha ha, her perm days! and my goth days
me and my pap on her birthday...
high school days...
she loved james, which makes my heart happy...
around the time she found out she had cancer, we cut her hair short before her chemo...
had a campfire, and she was doing sun salutations!
after her chemo, showing her bravery, and sillyness :)
i love this photo, it shows how close we felt for each other, my best friend.
all we need in this photo is rain!
her and my brother, love this photo. she cared for that boy sooooo much. when her hair grew back in after chemo it was gray, and i loved it!
on my wedding day, i wish i had more photos of her from it...
our hug right after i got married.
our last photo together...
this may be really sad to look at for some of you, but this is the beautiful coffin that my daddy made for her with his own hands, while she was sick. it was probably one of the hardest things he has ever done, but he was is a carpenter, and what an honor it was for her for him to have the courage to do this.
and these are the little things she requested to send along with her. yes, that is a pinecone! she loved collecting these. Everything in this world was 'special' to her. Even to the last moment, she was telling us to make sure to put these little 'special' things with her.
I wish each and everyone of you could have known my mom, i guarantee she would have changed your life just a bit, even if you just met her once. She was that amazing of a woman.

I love you mom.

"Got to get back to the land and set my soul free"