- outfit details -
hat + crochet vest // c/o chicwish
flowerchild tank // skyline fever
velvet bell bottoms // iconoclasp
bronze flats // blowfish shoes
braided crystal necklace // christi jay
quartz ring // moorea seal
chevron bracelet // f21

I can't stop wearing my velvet bell bottoms from Iconoclasp.  I could wear them everyday.  It's hard to believe Thanksgiving is just in a couple days.  I'm excited to see my family, and to roast some yummy root veggies... but I've also been a bit weary lately.  I definitely feel like my body is in a winter cocoon of sorts.  I've been in a state where I can cry at a wrong word used, or even a wrong look.  My emotional levy has broke, and it's opening me up to many different feelings.  I laid on the hammock for a few minutes the other day and a butterfly landed on my glasses, reminding me that this cocoon state I'm in is only preparing myself for something much more beautiful... but through this process, it hurts.  It is not easy transitioning.  Especially when its a kind of transition happening from within, one you cannot see, or put words to.  I take that back... I can put words to it.  Grief.  It's just that I thought by now it would be a little easier, but its only getting harder.  Part of that is my own doing, from not allowing myself to feel certain things that seemed unbareable to really feel.  I still don't want to feel them, but I know I must to truly heal through it.  A big gentle deep inhalation is needed on my part... followed with a long silent calming and grounding exhalation.  With my feet rooted in the earth, and my heart being guided from the spirits of my ancestors.  I need to allow myself to congratulate myself for the things I have accomplished, to celebrate them.  For so long now, I have not been doing this, and I think it has sucked some of the joy from the journey.  It's time to remind myself that I am worth that.  And that I am worth it to stop, regroup, realign the things in my life that need it.  To allow myself to let go of the things I no longer need in my heart, that I cling to.  And to know that it is okay to feel all of these feelings, even the depressing ones, so long as I do not remain dormant in them.  But, I must go through them, and not try to crabshell my way around them like I am so good at doing.  It is okay to cry.  It is okay to hurt.  It is okay to be angry.  It is okay. 

 post signature