Confession: I have been listing to the civil wars new album on repeat all day, every day since it arrived. yes, I am afraid I am going to burn it out, b/c well, I have definitely done that in the past with albums. But I just cant help it. Just like with their last album, I feel so emotionally connected to it, like I could of written the songs from my own heart. This time, even more so. The connection that comes through in their vocals is profound, and not too often heard. And knowing the reality of their not-speaking terms after the production of the album makes it all very real. There have been a few times in my life where I have found myself on not-speaking terms with people I deeply cared about. Left for years with unspoken feelings and what ifs of once real friendships. It is heart breaking. And that feeling never really goes away, no matter how much you convince yourself you might just be better off without them in your life. Once you let a friend in your heart in an open, and honest way, it is hard to watch that crumble into dust.
Of course, these are universal feelings I think we all experience in one way or another. So having an album like this that expresses it so intimately I think is actually so healing for so many people in this world. One reason I love music so much, it moves you. It gets inside every thread of your body, mind and heart like no other artform does. At least for me.
And yes, I already have the entire album memorized, except for the french song. I remember the very first album I did that with (of course besides The Little Mermaid and NKOTB) when I was really coming into my years of feeling connected emotionally to music, was Blind Melon's debut album. I remember laying on the floor at my parents house with my walkman (remember those?) listening to it over and over. A year or so later (don't remember the timeline) I did the same thing with Counting Crows debut album. I remember sitting on the bathroom sink in my parents shop singing my heart out while reading every word. (I remember feeling self conscious so I would hide away out in the shop for hours and sing). So here I am, almost 20 years later, still doing it with certain albums. I find myself wanting to do nothing but stand somewhere in my house and sing every word to this album at the top of my lungs. This is what music is suppose to do. Mmmmmm...