Before time totally slips away from me I want to document these early days of Ava's life here on the blog.  Most of these were all from her first few days.  It's so hard to believe it's already been 6 weeks!  It really does fly by.  I'm trying to soak in all of her changes everyday.  She is just getting cuter and cuter by the day.  These first moments were so special.  Since we rushed off to the hospital last minute, our house was left a bloody wreck, but our second midwife stayed behind and cleaned our whole house.  We came home to a freshly made bed with clean sheets and I remember how magical it felt.  I slipped into bed with my new little baby and nursed her with the most blissed out peaceful feeling ever.  That first hour home was pure magic.  There was just a feeling I had never felt before in our home.  And it was only about that long, that we were home alone just the three of us before my Nanna & Aunt arrived to stay with us that night. 

That whole first week felt like James and I got a fresh new lease on marriage.  All the beautiful feelings surrounding us made everything feel brand new again.  James did SO much around the house and taking care of me, including encapsulating my placenta.  He was the best help.  It was so sweet to see my nanna + aunt & james parents hold our baby.  Bittersweet to not have my parents around, but I feel like I'm doing pretty good with that.  I cried almost everyday tears of the biggest joy I had ever felt in my life.  Overwhelming hot tears of love.  That is something I had never done in my life.  It was truly an experience. 

It's so amazing how our bodies give us the energy we need in a time like this, when your baby is so dependent on you but you are purely exhausted from days of labor.  I was so afraid I would just pass out and not wake up to take care of her, but that was not the case at all.  Every little peep I heard through my sleep.  Instincts totally took over.  I was also surprised how natural mothering seemed to come for me.  After years of being afraid, I am no longer afraid.

I'll be back over the next few weeks with more of the journey...  Oh and look at her little cheeks in the picture of her in the car seat coming home from the hospital!!!!!!!