Soul Work

{self portrait taken in 2008}

Tonite I just want to write.  I have been feeling full to the brim lately with emotions.  Of all kinds.  The holidays left me feeling blessed and renewed in so many ways, but also quite sad.  There are so many things I wish I could have changed that I just couldnt.  I missed my mom.  I missed both my brother and dad not being able to be a part of it this year.  I just felt a bit disconnected through it all.  But then there were things that sewed it all up together in the end.  I have friends and family that I wish so badly I knew how to help, and sometimes I just dont, and it burdens my heart.  I guess Ive just been feeling very distracted by feelings and emotions lately, that its been hard to focus.  Although today I got alot done.  Im not really sure, I feel the winds a blowing and the leaves a changing... In a way it feels like soul work is being done behinds the scenes of my skin, Im just not sure what it is yet.  I would like to make some resolutions with myself this year.  Not really goals, b/c there is no defining an end to these things, just more like soul work.  I would like learn forgiveness in a truer deeper way, for others and for myself.  I would like to learn more ways of trusting people and lending my heart out to them.  To let go and let God.  To dig deeper into my heart and feel and learn more about what I truly feel... about things, people, love, God, friends, etc... Basically, I am a passionate person by nature, but I want to be more passionate about what is real in my heart.  Sometimes I allow my business and daily life get in the way of it, and then it just floods in.  Its time for personal work to be on the forefront.  In relation to my spirit, my health, my activity and freedom, my heart and trust, and letting go.

For those of you who are new readers, Im not just teddy bear hats and outfit posts, that stuff is just fun... Im a real girl, with real emotions, and real learning to be done on this earth.