Lately this has been on my mind alot... allowing others negative talk get you down. And not even from anything that has happened to me recently... more just what I see online through others. I think seeing it circulate though, might of brought up old wounds within myself. Which may be why they stood out to me. Then last night, I realized the most negative talk I receive personally comes straight from myself. I have had some back and forth feelings lately that are kind of down and out, and last night I decided to journal out the 'Lies' that I tell myself. It did not take me long to fill up a whole page. And even after that, the thoughts kept flooding in.
There is enough life sucking energy that you can absorb through others, whether its online or through face to face relationships... if we allow them to. Throughout my life I have had friends and lovers decide to drop me after the smallest of things would happen or leave me for someone else. I am sure everyone has experienced this at least once, and I'm sure I have even done this to others. I know I have. I do think its a part of learning relationships and learning how to still love yourself through it, and have compassion for the other even when it hurts. I have even had people not want to be close to me because of who I am friends with, because they are not good enough. But I realized last night, it may still have a thread connecting itself to my psyche. A little seed that was planted each time that says... 'Laura, your not good enough'. Or... you weren't smart enough, funny enough, pretty enough, outgoing enough, etc. etc.
I just really want to see judgement slip away. The biggest place, from myself. Beyond all the petty stuff that others may place on us, we can easily be our own worst critic. Looking at the list I made last night, some of those things I realize have been shaping me, molding me into something other than what I truly desire to be. Keeping me from a place of light and pure love. It's super easy for me to love others, and as much as I would like to think I love myself, there are still so many things I tell myself in my head that I would never tell a friend. So why am I telling myself those things? These things are not truth. They have been keeping my true self at bay and I feel her wanting to rip her clothes off and fight tooth and nail until all of those lies are buried in the ground.
You may have noticed I have not been sharing as much personal stuff lately here on the blog as I usually do. I think a part of it is because of this. I am feeling very blocked in my voice right now. Even writing this out, makes me want to just delete it. But I feel I must let it go. Face my current truth. And reach out... to you. Do you experience this too? What do you do to get yourself away from these thoughts? I am ready to face myself, as the image above would suggest. (It's a preview from an upcoming lookbook)... I dont feel this way all the time. Most of the things I wrote down I didn't even realize I thought until I started journaling it. I think there are things we carry with us on a daily basis that we don't even realize are there. And I hate to think those buried thoughts are keeping us from our highest potentional.
Collectively, let's start with this one simple affirmation for ourselves (daily): I AM ENOUGH.
Don't ever let someone else tell you that you are not good enough. Smart enough. Educated enough. Pretty enough. Strong enough. Skinny enough. Healthy enough. Spiritual enough. Whatever your ______ enough may be. And even though it may be hard, lets try not to tell ourselves these things anymore either.
Do you have a personal affirmation you need to tell yourself? Want to share it? Leave a link to your photo below.