So, last night I was enjoying my first hot bath in a long time. Our water heater has been on the fritz for the past 1/2 year and we finally got it replaced. So I was soaking it up last night when Ava came into the bathroom with these glasses on with a smile from ear to ear. I instantly thought of Iris Apfel + immediately decided we needed to do an Iris inspired shoot. I actually got out of my nice hot bath b/c I was so inspired, so I could gather up things out of the closets for the morning. Ava helped me too and she had so much fun gathering things for the shoot. I showed her some pics of Iris online and she started mimicking her poses she saw in the photos. I’d say she nailed it. It was dark and dreary with rain this morning, but we didn’t let that stop us.
A KANTHA CAPE
Dear Diary…
We are currently going through what is a called a Pandemic, a global one. Everyone has been told to stay home and only venture out for necessities. So many people are out of work and are fearing how they will stay alive if this lasts too long. Some people are stuck at home all alone, or even stuck away from home if they happened to be across borders at the wrong time. Many people are deemed essential to keeping the wheels from completely falling off in our society, so they have to remain going to to their 9-5’s, being surrounded by the threat of getting sick themselves. And maybe they are not so worried about getting sick themselves, but they are worried about getting their loved ones sick, or potentially spreading it to someone they may never know who wouldn’t make it through if they caught it. There is alot of cause for panic right now, and rightfully so. It’s a pretty fucked up situation we have all globally found ourselves in at the moment. There are a million reasons to be in fear.
But at the same time, I have also seen so much beauty through the ashes. I have never seen so many people building living room forts with their kids, making homemade loaves of bread, staying closer in touch with those they love, truly noticing their surroundings and slowing down, spreading love + hope for others, planting gardens and digging their hands in the dirt, coming together in unison to create some sort of connection, even if it’s singing out of window lofts together, musicians sharing live concerts, artists finding creative solutions, and the list goes on and on. Oh, and the good news channels popping up like crazy. The amount of people realizing how much they were wasting in their normal lives. The deep exhale mama earth is getting right now.
There is so much yin and yang in a situation like this. There is no denying it’s a shitstorm in so many ways, and it sucks really really badly for so many right now. And there is also so many new seeds popping up out of the ashes of humanity. It’s been like a wildfire wakeup call for so many of how deeply we need human connection + interaction, how much we truly take for granted each day, and so much more.
I would love to know how this has affected you? How are you hurting, and what silver linings have you seen? It is totally valid to feel all the feels. To sit in the silence. To scream in the silence. To fill up new spaces. To be happy. To fully embrace this time as a deep transition of learning a new way. To play. To rest. To cry. To grieve. Whatever it is YOU need. Allow that. That is the way through.
This last photo is one of my favorite photos I’ve ever captured of Ava. We made her a cape from one of our Kantha Bae swaddle blankets, and I captured her running around the backyard. It was one of those moments that reminded me just how special and magical childhood is. She is growing so fast. She is so smart and independent. I never want to miss these moments. Making magic in our backyard.
The Grammy Tree
Yesterday afternoon, just a few hours before the new moon, we planted a tree for Ava. Mountain Laurel's hold a special place in the heart of my family ever since my mom passed away. We believe the little red seeds are little gifts from her. We let Ava pick one out at the nursery a few weeks ago. We wanted to plant it on her first birthday, but since it's in the middle of summer we decided to go with a nice spring new moon instead. She watched her daddy dig the hole in fascination, and then we let her put her little hands on it before we put it in the ground. We buried her umbilical cord under it along with ashes from my dad, and our cat + dog who recently passed away, Bella + Violet. This will be her tree to grow alongside with.
The Origin of Her Name
Ava Pearl has been destined to come into this world long before I ever anticipated her to. Her name is proof of that to me. When James and I were dating, about 8 months along, he proposed to me. I had no idea it was coming when he took me on a date downtown San Antonio. Even when we walked up to the Little Church of La Villita where my parents tied the knot, did I even suspect. But right there on the steps of that church, he popped the question. Even more to my unknowing, many of our loved ones knew what was happening. James had asked my parents, my Nanna, his parents, my best friend & his best friend at the time all for their blessing to marry me! I couldn't believe it.
Rewind to a few days before... James and I were having the 'if we ever babies what would we name them' talk. He told me he loved the name Ava. Partly b/c of Angels and Airwaves, but he also just really loved the name and how the letters flowed together. At the time I thought it was sweet, but definitely not on my list of names I had been hoarding since I was in my teens. (anyone else do that???)
Fast forward to the morning after he proposed to me. My parents took me out for celebratory breakfast tacos. My mom was so giddy and full of joy that her baby girl was getting married. Over breakfast with pure delight she told me that she just couldn't help but to lay awake all night thinking of baby names for us! Ha ha, jumping the gun a little??? She was so excited. She said she was reading a book and came across a really long name (I wish I could remember what it was now), but she said it started with AVA and she thought it sounded to pretty. I couldn't believe that her and James both came up with the same hypothetical baby name within a few days of each other without knowing it. So from that moment on, Ava has been our name picked out if we ever had a girl. We lost my mom to cancer just 4 short months after getting married, so this one day baby girl name felt even more special when we finally got to use it almost 9 years later.
Her middle name was changed a few times. At first James wanted it to be Claire b/c he has had a long time boy crush on Claire Danes. But I talked him out of that. ;) I have always loved the name Pearl, and it has always reminded me of my mom. She loved that name too. When she was a little girl she came across a Poor Pitiful Pearl doll at the store and she told her mom that she wanted to take that doll home b/c she thought no one else would want her. She loved the unloved from the beginning. She also loved Janis Joplin who's nickname is Pearl. And my birthstone is Pearl (and it was almost Ava's too). Once I started saying the names Ava Pearl together I just knew it was right. James fell in love with it too. We love it so much that we call her Ava Pearl most of the time instead of just Ava.
I just love that her little name feels so special. This was a story I wanted to write down for her to have one day.