MAMA BIRD + LITTLE WING

Well I have definitely not updated here like I had planned.  My little Ava Pearl is already 15 weeks old tomorrow.  I am just so in love with this little ray of sunshine.  She brings the biggest joy I have ever experienced into my life.  She is on her 4th mental leap right now and is learning so much.  She is still completely enthralled with discovering her hands.  She almost giggles and we just can't wait until we hear her first real belly laugh.  She smiles with her whole face, especially with her eyes.  She can pucker her bottom lip when she is not happy like nobodies business.  She is completely a mama's girl.  She's long and lean with a big ol' noggin.  She has a better wardrobe than me.  She falls asleep on her own most naps.  But at night still has to nurse for an hour or two before falling asleep.  She likes having my hair swept across her face.  She constantly curls her toes like a monkey.  Her voice has the loveliest baby tones.  She can't roll over yet, but she is a fierce leg kicker.  She loves to 'stand up' using her leg muscles.  She loves bath time most of the time, and every time she is in the tub on her back staring up at me, I see myself as a baby in her, it's like I'm looking into my own reflection.  I see my mother in her eyes.  She can be very independent and happy as can be all by herself, and also at times want nothing more than to be held by her mama.  She loves her naps.  Like, really loves her naps.  She only likes car rides half the time, either she is asleep or crying and screaming in the car.  She only likes to be 'worn' if I am constantly walking and bouncing.  She can hold onto her rattle for a very long time.  She loves being talked to and loves story time.  She likes her Baby Animals golden book the best.  Her favorite toy is a bee teether our friend Melissa sent us.  She loves chillin' on the porch.  She has the sweetest round moon face I have ever seen and a smile that could light up the world.  I am so freaking blessed that she chose me to be her mother.

MAMA BIRD + LITTLE WING // ONE WEEK OLD

Yesterday my sweet girl turned 2 months old.  2 months!!!!  And I am just now getting our week 1 portraits up, ha ha.  Cheers to motherhood!  I wanted to get these up here though to document the journey.  It's crazy how much she has changed in such a short time.  She just gets cuter and more aware every single day right now.  I'm going to keep this post short with mostly pictures... but I'll be back with more as I find the time. xo

AVA PEARL // THE EARLY DAYS

Before time totally slips away from me I want to document these early days of Ava's life here on the blog.  Most of these were all from her first few days.  It's so hard to believe it's already been 6 weeks!  It really does fly by.  I'm trying to soak in all of her changes everyday.  She is just getting cuter and cuter by the day.  These first moments were so special.  Since we rushed off to the hospital last minute, our house was left a bloody wreck, but our second midwife stayed behind and cleaned our whole house.  We came home to a freshly made bed with clean sheets and I remember how magical it felt.  I slipped into bed with my new little baby and nursed her with the most blissed out peaceful feeling ever.  That first hour home was pure magic.  There was just a feeling I had never felt before in our home.  And it was only about that long, that we were home alone just the three of us before my Nanna & Aunt arrived to stay with us that night. 

That whole first week felt like James and I got a fresh new lease on marriage.  All the beautiful feelings surrounding us made everything feel brand new again.  James did SO much around the house and taking care of me, including encapsulating my placenta.  He was the best help.  It was so sweet to see my nanna + aunt & james parents hold our baby.  Bittersweet to not have my parents around, but I feel like I'm doing pretty good with that.  I cried almost everyday tears of the biggest joy I had ever felt in my life.  Overwhelming hot tears of love.  That is something I had never done in my life.  It was truly an experience. 

It's so amazing how our bodies give us the energy we need in a time like this, when your baby is so dependent on you but you are purely exhausted from days of labor.  I was so afraid I would just pass out and not wake up to take care of her, but that was not the case at all.  Every little peep I heard through my sleep.  Instincts totally took over.  I was also surprised how natural mothering seemed to come for me.  After years of being afraid, I am no longer afraid.

I'll be back over the next few weeks with more of the journey...  Oh and look at her little cheeks in the picture of her in the car seat coming home from the hospital!!!!!!!

40 WEEK PORTRAIT

Even though it's been 3 weeks already since I had my little babe, I didn't want to forget documenting my last maternity portraits here.  This was one day after I hit 40 weeks, just 3 days before her arrival.  This evening was when my labor started with contractions all night throughout my sleep.  At this point, my brother was genuinely concerned about me getting any bigger, ha ha!  It's kind of sweet knowing how worried he was about me.  Being only 5' 2" tall, I was all belly, but I was measuring right on the mark along with my weeks.  In the end I gained about 45 pounds, and still have about 25 pounds to shed before I'm back to my normal.  It's definitely odd being so in between.  Most of my clothes still don't fit me, and dressing for breastfeeding is even harder than dressing a 40 week bump.  But I know it's just all part of the process, and my sweet little Ava Pearl is so worth it all. 

I have yet to find the time to sit down and write out my birth story, but I know it will happen as it should.  My time is definitely very limited now, as anyone who is a new mother knows.  I have so many things I want to share, but will just have to be patient with the process and let each day unfold as it will.  So until next time, xo...