RAVEN MESSENGER

Last night before bed I took a bath + pulled my cards for the new moon. Something I do every new and full moon. I pulled a few of the same cards I always pull, and this time I pulled the Totem of Pipes - The Flyers (traditionally the Knight, but I use the Medicine Woman Tarot). This is the same card I pulled the same day Ava and I found that sweet birdy who had died in our backyard. After the cards message it says that I will encounter a flying one + to listen to it’s message. The last time I pulled it it was pretty obvious that the flying one calling my name was the Mockingbird, but when I pulled it last night I was curious what was going to come up this time.

Then this morning I awoke from the most magical dream about a Raven! I dreamt I was in my backyard and this Raven flew into my yard. Kinda cool b/c I have been seeing Crows flying over my yard for weeks now, so the message was already starting to come in for me. This bird was huge and magestic. It instantly came up to me and the next thing I knew we were cuddling + kissing + of course I was even taking selfies + videos with it, ha ha. Then I brought it inside with me and we cuddled and kissed some more all snuggled up on a little couch by my window. It kept rubbing it’s huge beak across my cheek + I just remember it being the most magical experience. We both felt so safe with each other. Then the next thing I know it turned into a dog that looked + acted just like my old dog Violet. I knew it wasn’t her, but was a lost dog in the neighborhood that was just like her who was looking for a home. I saw her smoosh her face under the pillows and lay on her back with all four paws in the air the way Violet used to do. I was so overjoyed, and then I woke up.

So, my flying one came through to me almost instantly. Raven is considered one of the most mystical creatures. Often being associated with total transformation + uncovering what is in the dark and bringing it to healthy light. This is one I’m going to sit with for a bit. I feel like these messages having been coming in pretty strong lately, which means it’s time to pay attention. I definitely feel like I am on the threshold of another transformation. And I will also be on the lookout for the possibility of a sweet new pup like Violet to enter our lives.

UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF THE MOON

Tonite is a Full Moon Eclipse, and this eclipse season during a Mercury Retrograde has got my brain reviewing this past year, especially going back to last year during this time, which was an incredibly intense eclipse season for myself personally.  I came across this old post the other day and it all flooded back in.  I have shared little snippets of that time here and there online, but never really sat down and wrote it all out.  In hindsight, that season brought such magic through darkness.  Below are some images I took during that Blood Moon.  I hold these moments deep in my heart.

This day was a turning point in my life... a threshold that I stepped over.  Pretty much my whole life, I have loved kids, even wanted to be a kindergarten teacher for a long time... but I was terrified of having my own.  When I lost my mom almost 9 years ago, the fear grew and festered into a deep ugly monster.  The thought of raising a child without her around just seemed unbearable.  Then 3 1/2 years later when I lost my dad, it got even worse.  I let fear consume me. 

On this particular full moon, I had alot of soul searching going on in my heart.  Old wounds resurfaced in a big way, and I learned just how big my fear was... not just about having a child.  But in general.  I was allowing fear to take over me.  I had situations arise that allowed me to take a deep hard look in the mirror at who I had become, who I was allowing to hold me back, and what needed to be released from my body.  I spent the entire day in my stick tipi.  Talking to the universe, digging up my bones, laying them out and examining them, and surrendering and letting them go the best I knew how.  Let's just say that full moon and I had the biggest heart to heart we had had in a long time.

I saw my very first owl in the woods that evening.  It was the most amazing experience.  It inspired me to draw the Luna Owl design we have for Skyline Fever (not knowing at the time it would become a shirt).  There were messages all around me during those weeks.

By the end of that evening, looking up at the moon as it eclipsed, I spoke out loud to the universe that I was ready to have a baby.  I told that moon that I was ready.  To carve out the space inside me for new birth to grow.  TWO WEEKS LATER on my next ovulation, I got pregnant.  I didn't know for a few more weeks, but looking back once I found out, it felt like pure MAGIC.  I have no doubt in my mind that after many tears, hours of heart to heart with myself, and lots of letting go and releasing, that I opened up space in my body to plant a new seed.  And one that I never knew could be as sweet as it is.  My little Ava Pearl truly fills so many holes that have been lingering in my body for years.  She is an angel and a healer.  To her mama at least.  She confirms my belief in Divine Timing. In the magic of this universe. In my connection with the moon.  And now she too will know that connection... as a DOUBLE cancer, born so close to a new moon, with a MOON FACE.  She is our moon baby, our little moon.

I have wanted to write this out for so long, it's only fitting I end up writing it one year later on another full moon eclipse.  Full circle.  Circle of Life.

HOLSTEE MANIFESTO

This poster from Holstee adorns my studio walls, and I know I already shared it in my studio makeover post, but I thought it might be good to share as a stand alone post... I think it speaks for itself and could be read over and over and over again...

We are coming up on the most powerful full moon of the year in conjunction with an eclipse + several other intense aspects going on astrologically... Take some time this weekend to really dig deep into yourself to see what still needs letting go of, what things you would like to change about yourself and make plans on how you can actually implement them into your daily life to create real, lasting change, and what beautiful dreams you would like to see manifest in your life.  Make intent around this time.  How will you live this one precious life? What passions will you share with the world?  What will you change?

YOU ARE THE MAGIC

✨ you are the magic✨

Wearing my Umber Dove ring on my wedding ring finger has kept these words so alive. This new moon in Virgo has brought in deep awareness and reminders that I am in charge of the direction of my life and what I allow to affect me. I choose love, forgiveness, and presence. I choose to create fertile grounds for new growth in my life. I choose to stare myself in the face and own the reflection of what the past mirrors to me. I choose to embrace what makes me feel whole, loved and accepted, and let go of that which doesn't feed me, nourish me or help me blossom into the best version of myself. I'm constantly learning, growing, changing, letting go, making new, as we all are. I choose to change the world by loving myself and nurturing my small piece of the world. I may not be able to do great acts but I can do lots of small acts with love. I fumble and fail and make mistakes, some that embarrass me for years, but that's okay, it's all part of it. I will continue to try to learn from my mistakes and use those lessons as tools for my future. I carry with me in my toolbox the heartbeat of my mother, and will one day share this heartbeat with a little of my own. My prayer to the universe is to help me carve out the places inside me that no longer serve me or anyone else, and make room for a new light to enter.

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This was a little something I shared on my instagram the other day, and just thought it needed a space here on the blog...