Time out >>>

Friday I allowed myself some real me time.  I worked on writing and answering some questions mulling around my heart.  I played with Violet and Bella outside.  We layed on the ground.  We had fun with my glasses.  We took pictures.  (when i say 'we', I mean me and the furry ones)  I even broke out my hula hoop.  It was very rejuvenating to say the least.  And Im not quite done with my 'me' time just yet.  Im about to head out with my bestie for a day together.  I cannot wait.  Its been almost 2 months since weve spent any real time together, this is much much needed and way long overdue.  Then tomorrow, cross my fingers, Ill be attending yoga and having friend time with another girlfriend.  And then possibly even seeing my hubby's family and new baby nephew.  I really really hope that all happens.  And Im planning a trip into town to see my family.  I can only go so long...

Thank you for this little blessing of learning and letting go.  And healing.  Lots and lots of healing to come.

PEACE,

Laura

Soul searching for a moment >>>

Today (and the last few days) I really really really really miss my mom.  To the point where I feel like freaking out.  Although I know that will do me no good, so whats the point.  I just want to hear her voice, hug her, smell her, tell her how beautiful she is.  I miss my days with her so much.  I miss our talks.  She was always so good at bringing me out of a funk.  There are friends and family relationships in my life that are turning and changing, and it breaks my heart a little.  I wish I had her comfort.  I have so much comfort around me, Im truly blessed with amazing people in my life... but there is no other feeling in this world than the one that comes from your mom.  At least for me, I know this is not the case for many people, but for me, it is.  I find myself searching through the files in my brain, trying to hold on to a snip of her telling me something just to hear her voice in my mind.  But the harder I try, the harder it is to hear.  I think Im just feeling really unbalanced lately.  Too much work and not enough soul play.  I know this.  It just seems sometimes like Im never caught up.  But, just as I was freaking out to James the other night about how its getting to the point I cant do it all myself, an old friend shows up on my doorstep the next day and offers to help out possibly once a week, and go to yoga with me.  I know this is where I need to be.  I need to take better care of my body, and I need to allow myself to have help.  I like to think I can take on so much, but then at times it becomes exhausting.  

wow.  I think I really just needed to look within a bit more.  My body is telling me to slow down.  And to also take stock of the people in my life who want to be there just for me.  People who truly love me for who I am as a person, not as an artist, or as an emotional shoulder to lean on.  I like knowing I am a trusted friend that someone can come to when they need someone, but Im tired of only being called upon during those times.  Its time I really start paying more attention to that, and allowing myself to step away when I need to.  This is not just for friends, but for all people in my life.  

My heart is uneasy today, and I just really want my mom.  (insert a big pouty face)

PEACE,

Laura

Life + Daily Outfit + Giveaway Winner >>>

Yesterday we finally were able to make it in to Whole Foods this month to get some yummy food. It was James day off, which always means errand day.  It was a pretty stressful day.  James was back and forth on the phone all morning with his doctor and insurance companies.  James has a seizure disorder that he has to take meds for on a daily basis.  They are very important pills and something that can not be messed around with.  He has had 4 or 5 grand mal seizures since weve been married and it was just about the scariest thing Ive ever witnessed.  So anyway, this last time he got his prescription filled, they had come out with a generic of his med, so his insurance wont cover the regular ones anymore, but his doctor (who is an excellent doctor) has told us that it is not a good idea for him to take them, especially since its a drug for his brain.  Some generics are completely fine, but some are not so good.  Long story short, if we cannot find a way around this somehow, his pills will go from $60 a month to $800.  Outrageous!  That basically means we would lose our home over this.  But his doctor is fighting it for us and if worse comes to worse, we may have to switch his meds again, which is never easy or fun.  It is so so frustrating b/c its all about making money to these companies.  And since James works at a corporation with a tight hold on their insurance, he cant get his pills filled at other places or hell lose his insurance at work, which is half the reason he stays at that job.  I hate so much that he even has to take these pills everyday, it breaks my heart to know he has to have that stress and worry all time of possibly having a seizure.  Luckily so far, he has always been at home when he has had one, and not driving or something.  This is another thing that tops my list of fears.  I really do think Ill make a post about fear.  Some are legit and some are pretty silly, but Id like to start working through them instead of allowing them to continue ruling me.

Aside from all of that.... I was very happy to wear my new wooden birdie necklace c/o That Vintage.  I have admired this very necklace for quite some time (like a few years) now.  It is so beautiful in person, and it means so much to me now that when I see two birds together, I am reminded that my parents are back together.  Love this necklace.  

When the package arrived I was pleasantly greeted with adorable packaging.  I love her little birdie stamp and touches of twine.  The whole thing was impeccable.  Beautiful.  Sophie Hill is an amazing artist.

Id also like to announce the winner of the That Vintage giveaway!!!
Lauren from Of The Freckled Kind

PEACE,
Laura