PIECES OF HOME // WINTER SOLSTICE


A little recap of the past few days.  The night before 12.21.12 I went out on a date with my bestie to the wine bar.  We had a nice time and chatted alot about food (she is pregnant).  Ha ha.  She also gave me that batch of goodness above!  Some whiskey, stones, chocolate and soap... the girl knows me well.  Then I came home and gave Bella pillow rides. 
On 12.21.12, James and I went to a friends house out in tarpley for a winter solstice gathering.  I brought with me an earth offering for exchange, along with said whiskey from above.  And I wore my cowboy boots that were gifted to me for the first time!  You cant tell from the photo, but they are old and worn, and the bottom part is snakeskin.  I love it, the skin is all peeling off.  I have lived in the cowboy capital of the world all my life, and have never worn cowboy boots (minus a short period when I was about 8).  But these ones, I can get into!  I probably never would of tried them without them being gifted to me.  

The gathering was wonderful.  Her home was filled with beautiful, warm souls.  Soon after we got there, we all went outside, were smuged and blessed, and gathered around her medicine wheel with instruments in hand, and had a shaman led ceremony honoring the earth and the winter solstice, filled with singing, drumming, and learning.  It was beautiful.  The half moon was out and you could see every star in the sky out there.  Then we all went in and enjoyed food, drinks and anonymous gift exchanges.  I got plant seeds!!!  They came directly from the persons garden, Im super excited. 

The next day, on 12.22.12, I was completely wiped out.  I napped almost all day long, and so did violet, as you can see.  We spent most of the day in bed together.  I managed to get up for a little while and make some batches of homeade bath salts.  Then straight back to bed. 

Yesterday morning, I went to yoga class in kerrville with my friend, and got to listen to my instructor talk about the world and our mind body connections to spirit.  It was beautiful and right in line with my most inner thoughts.  He usually is... 

And I just had to share this pic of Bella b/c its so darn cute.  I caught her getting up in the plants I brought indoors.  Little rascal.

I hope everyone has a merry christmas!  Be safe and spread love.

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JAMES BEAR

This morning I just wanted to share some photos of my boy.  After being married for 5+ years, I have shared that our marriage has had its ups and downs, trials, errors, etc... But it has also been filled with alot of love.  The kind of love you must closer into the small things to see through the ordinary.  As Im sure its the same way with many marriages.  When I look at the things he does for me, the ways he stands by my side, the way he learns to grow and open as I do, the way he cares for our animals, the way he takes a stand to take care of things he knows only hurts my heart, the way he wants me to be close to my friends and family, the way he cares for his own family, the way this 33 year old man still needs tender love and care from day to day to feel whole, the way he loves to learn about new things in the world, the way he cares for the less fortunate, the way he allows me to just be me even when he might think Im a bit crazy, the way he encourages me to take care of my well being, and so many other things... reminds me of why I love him.  He has grown so incredibly much since weve been together.  Looking back on the fear he held inside throughout our first two years, and visibly seeing it dissipate has been amazing to watch.  And in turn, watching my own fears lessen and turn into trust as well.  We all come into relationships with our pasts and baggage, and have to learn how to evolve side by side someone foreign, and its not always an easy task.  James and I are polar opposites in our natal birth charts.  And its very apparent in our day to day.  When I can take a step back and really look at how far we have come, and the things we have both learned from each other, I find it remarkable.  It's like taking two ingredients that sound like they would be absolutely horrific tasting in a dish together, and creating a magical meal that you can't even believe both of those ingredients were used.  Yep, kind of like that.  Like apples and bacon... he'd be the bacon ;)  And yeah, we look pretty darn cute together, eh?  I love you James.

p.s.  I love that he is wearing his Skyline Fever shirts in 6 out of 8 of these photos!

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SICK DAY + ADVENTWINDOWS

Yesterday, for 12.12.12 I cleaned my house from head to toe.  Cleaned things I don't normally clean, like the microwave (yuck)... A good deep clean.  It always feels so good.  I felt like I needed my home front to have a fresh start along with all of the energy going around us during this high vibrational time.  I set some intentions in my mind for myself, some new beginnings Id like to create for myself.  Some deep healing and transforming for my year ahead.  Things Ive been reaching for, grasping for, but having no energy to dive into.  I finally found myself feeling excited and ready for the internal changes ahead.  Prepared to face them with less fear on the forefront, which I have only been using as a wall, a shield.  Im ready to break those walls down and create a new freedom inside myself. 

This morning, on this new moon, I started my period and woke up sick with the beginnings of a soar throat.  Im absolutely grateful for it.  Didn't think I'd ever hear myself say that.  But I am.  Being sick, for me at least, is usually a catalyst to treat myself with alot of self love, and prioritize what I put in my body, when I would normally not care as much.  I like to try to heal myself as naturally as possible and avoid going to the doctor at all cost if I can.  So far so good for the past several times Ive gotten sick, or felt like I was getting sick.  Ive been able to smash it all together, or dramatically reduce it so it doesn't come on full blown.  I think it was very fitting that I woke up sick this morning.  A little push forward to detox and release a bit. 

My typical combinations when Im feeling like Im going to get sick are this: tons of water.  apple cider vinegar with grapeseed extract and terra shield ei (although i couldn't find it anywhere today!).  emergen-c. vitamins. green tea with lemon, ginger & raw honey (lots of it).  garlic.  juiced fresh fruits and veggies.  I also just started using good earth living's echinacea and rosemary tinctures.  that's about it.  well, and taking it easy, not over doing it, or just resting all together.  

Today we had errands to run, and it felt so good to be able to leave the house on the first day of my period.  I have always had really bad ones, and for the past 5 months, they have not given me any problems.  Im not sure what changed, besides introducing certain essential oils during the week leading up to it.  Im not sure if that could do it, but it's literally the only thing that has really changed.  I didn't even get a migraine this month, and that is a first!  I'm really hoping my body is regulating itself out.  Taking care of myself naturally through these things has been a long learning process.  I had alot of help a few years ago from my boss, but since leaving, Ive had to figure things out on my own, which has been a really great thing to have to do. 

This week I started along with Messy Canvas's adventwindows project, Come Thou Long Expected.  It was originally for the month of december, but I came late to the party, like I usually do, so I just jumped on, and quickly realized this could be done at any ol' time.  I saw my friend Rain doing it and it looked intruiging, and Im loving it so far.  You should totally check it out.  These are my first 4 days of words I pulled.  The first 3 days I journaled along with the word (only two shown).  Yesterday's word, breathe, I just did.  It's been fun to dive into a solitare word each day. 

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GUARDIAN ANGELS

 (beautiful painting by Kathleen Chisholm McInerney)

Yesterday I was reminded of my guardian angels.  It was one of those days that circumstances just happened that re-opened my awareness of the kindness of people and the universe that holds us, and how interconnected we are.  First it started with our dentist appointment.  We had cleanings, and they were going to be with a lady I had never met before.  Living in a small town, you usually see the same person at these kinds of establishments, for you know, your whole life!  So I instantly made a frown and had a baby moment where I said to James... 'but I wan't so and so!) This cancer crab can be a bit dramatic and whiny at times, I admit.  But... I truly believe she was a guardian angel of some sorts. She was so sweet and talked to me for about 15-20 minutes before even beginning to clean my teeth.  I was laying there in the dentist chair with all the stuff around me, and she just went on.  She had asked me a few questions about my life, and somehow we immediately were on the subject of parents and kids... that tends to be a big topic of discussion in my life.  I told her about my parents being gone and expressed my fears of having children b/c of it.  Then she began to say things and talk about life and people and family like each thing was something a mother would of been telling me, with caring, compassion and full acceptance of any choice I make.  She told me that if I did decide to have kids that they would have two of the best guardian angles watching after them throughout their life.  That gave me such a new perspective on it, and touched my heart so deeply.  I walked away from that office feeling very surreal, like she knew something I didn't... but that was okay.  It almost felt like it could of been my mom talking to me through her.  A strange, but comforting feeling.

Then we made our usual errands to town.  We stopped by my friends house to see her sonogram pics of her baby girl!!  I loved listening to her talk about how in love she is with her already, even though she looks like an alien in the photos, ha ha.  She is someone who thought she never wanted kids, ever.  And she is over the moon with excitement.  It's amazing to watch the transition of these things as they happen naturally.  We made a spur of the moment date to go to our favorite yoga class in the hills of Kerrville with our favorite teacher.

We had great deep conversations about life and love the whole way there, like we always do.  This girl and I don't beat around the bush in our relationship.  I love it.  We are like night and day, so different, but connect so well when it comes to the real stuff.  And we don't mind at all telling the other person when they are being, well you know, stupid.  It's a great way to be with a friend.  And something you don't find in alot of relationships, so I'm very thankful for it.  She told me things that gave me such a new perspective that I am so grateful for.  Another guardian angel moment through words.

Then we arrive to the yoga studio, which always instantly melts my muscles and my spirit comes out to play.  His place is magic.  Pure magic.  In every sense of the word.  Maybe one day I'll devote an entire post on describing his place, it is that worth it.  Magic.  When we come in and welcome ourselves with the teacher, we catch up a bit on our days... I briefly told him about my amazing encounter with the dentist, and he lovingly smiled.  He has been my instructor for well over 10 years now, so he knows me well and has seen all of the changes in my life take place.  He was even at James and I's wedding.  So special.  So, after an amazing hour and a half of yoga, we have our relaxation layout.  He comes over to me and places and warm moist clove soaked towlette on my eyes.  (mmmm... i love this)  Then he places a hot stone on my belly, moves it in a circle for a little while, and then places my hand on it, with his hand lovingly on mine.  He whispers to me that he placed a warm stone on my belly, and under the stone its says 'HOPE'.  Then he left me be with the stone on my belly and my hands on it.  It was an intense layout.  It was the most I could do to not burst out in tears, but there were a few streaming down my face.  In a good way.  I have always felt like he is my mentor in a way, and a guardian angel of mine.  And last night it came through loud and clear.  It was so healing, so loving, so thoughtful.  I came away feeling so blessed from all of the people and occurances that touched my life yesterday.  It was a magical day.  One that I'm glad I paid enough attention to to notice the magic it held.  

Oh, and another HUGE thing that happened yesterday!!!  I have been trying to get a dot come for roots and feathers for a long time now, about 2 years, and it finally fell in place.  I could not get anything going through the web provider, so I figured out how to contact the owner myself.  She ended up being so sweet and gave it to me!!!  And not only that, I found out she is a reiki teacher, plant spirit worker and animal caregiver.  Her lines of work reminded me so much of my dear friend who I worked for as an herbal assistant, that I instantly felt a connection and an honor for it to be placed down to me from such a loving light.  Wow.  Yesterday was a magical day, can I say that again????

Then one more thing, last night I dreamt about my Paap, whom I haven't dreamt about in years....  Reminding me I had another guardian angel up there.  I really am blessed.

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