Serentiy, Courage, Wisdom...

The rollercoaster of emotions this week has been intense.  But in the midst of it all, Ive tried to keep capturing some good moments.  James aunt is a part of a quilting group who made me this beautiful prayer quilt.  It was so very sweet and Ive been cuddling with it while I sleep every night. 

I got to see Isabel do her horse therapy.  She loves her horse Daisy, its so precious.  And Xavier got to ride for a bit too.  I cant tell you how much I love these kids (my besties kids)... and the image of the coca cola chair was a complete accident, and I love how it came out!

Shelley also had a bbq this weekend.  Her twin was down from Cali and they had their 10 year high school reunion.  So it was our first real outing this week.  I even wore a dress.  It felt nice to pamper myself a bit. And I got to hold a baby for about 20 minutes which was healing.

And my dad has been throwing rainbows all over my house.  One of the gifts he gave me several years ago was a big beaded crystal that I hang in my window and when the sun hits it, it throws rainbows all over my whole house.  I see how fitting it is now b/c my dad loved bright colors like this.  He was an old hippy who was very much into tie dye colors and psychadelic images, so rainbows are very fitting I think.

And I was passing through my hallway today and looked at a painting I did a long time ago and I understood it all over again.  It says 'the day her world stopped still, she had no words left to dream'.  It is one of my favorite collages Ive made. 

Im praying to feel normal again.  Although I have a feeling its going to be a while before that happens.  I have waves of sadness, anger, peacefulness, blankness, awkwardness and normalness in constant rotation.  I wish I could press a fast forward button, but I suppose that wouldnt be healthy.  I have to face it all, as it comes my way.  There is no running away.  And I will get through this.  One day at a time.

'God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.  The courage to change the things I can.  And the wisdom to now the difference.'

PEACE,
Laura

Two Feathers...

I found these two feathers several days ago.  I thought it was one when I picked it up, they were stuck together so perfectly.  Then I realized it was two, and now it seems so perfectly fitting.  

Today has been a really rough day.  I think the sheer reality of things may be setting in.  I go back and forth, one minute feeling peaceful and the next wanting to scream.  Today I put my headphones on and posted lots of new jewelry to etsy.  The noise and thinking it took kept my mind off of it for a while.  I know I have to deal with it and feel my feelings, but I just cant all day long.  

I have a feeling my blog may become a bit bi-polar for a while.  Luckily I have lots of sponsor posting to do for this last week, so I have plenty of good stuff to fill in the holes.  Just bare with me during this time.  I am blessed to have such a supportive following of readers.  I have had so many emails filled with love and tears. 
 
This coming week I have a few amazing giveaways Ill be posting, and I still have plenty of photos to share that were taken before all of this happened.  I have a feeling it may be a while before I feel like doing any sort of outfit post or things like that.  But I will also try to use this space to find some peace and normalcy outside of my inner pain.  Maybe I can utilize this as my happy space, something to look forward to each day.  I will try my best.

Thank you again for the love you have shown.

PEACE,
Laura

After the rain...

I want to say thank you to each and every one of you have left me sweet comments, sent me emails, etc... about my daddy.  I truly appreciate all of your words, thoughts, prayers and sorrows.  And thank you for those of you who shared your similar experiences, it helps to know I am not alone.  The experience I had yesterday that I shared in my last post has been carrying me through.  Yesterday we also went to get away and see some friends who live far in the country where we get no cell phone reception.  It was nice just to get away from it all for a while.  Even though I still couldnt stop thinking about it, it allowed me to not have to do anything or talk to anyone.  It can be quite exhausting talking to so many people over and over about what happened.  I think I could take a month away from it all.  But, that is not life, life goes on...  

I wore my daddy's shirt yesterday.  He has had this shirt since he was my age.  And the guy from this band happened to be one of the last musicians we saw together when we went to the folk festival last month.  My dad loved music so much.  Truly one of his biggest passions.  Im so glad I went to that show with him b/c I almost didnt. 
The sky on the way there was magnificent.  Big huge puffy white clouds.  The earth is so happy right now with the rain we got yesterday.  The birds are just out singing this morning.  

Today I am planning on getting some things done.  After all of the traffic in our house this past week, its pretty dirty.  Im going 'put my head down and my butt up' (as my nanna would say) and deep clean.  And also try to get a few work things done.  Things that are still lingering from last week.  I think it will be good for me to just get busy and do things.  And it always makes me feel good to have a clean house.  Here's to a fighting chance of normalcy today!

Peace,
Laura