Things are not just things...

Most of you that have been following me for a while now probably know my attachment to things.  I have decorated our home with things that are special to me.  In reality I know how unhealthy it can be to cling to 'things' in this world, but with all of the loss I have faced, these 'things' have become pieces to fill the holes I have left.  When I walk through my house each day, I have little reminders surrounding me of where I came from.  I even have a tendency to keep broken things.  In this photo below, you will see part of a cracked bird bath.  Its only the top b/c it broke when we were moving, so James just set the top on another flower planter.  The birds love it, and it has become a part of my morning routine.

The budda is an amazing iron half bust.  It was in my mother's garden, and is waiting to one day go into my own garden.  Or maybe one day Ill create a zen yoga spot in the yard.  The half sun is another broken piece.  This sun used to hang on the front of my parents house.  My dad took it off the house at some point, so I brought it home b/c it was just laying on the ground.  It also broke when we were moving.  But my lovely husband scooped it up and put it in the car anyway.  It will also one day be in our garden.

This beautiful blue star is a piece that my mom and her sister saw when they were out shopping together and they both loved it.  So they decided to buy it and trade it back and forth each christmas.  So the christmas after my mom had died, my aunt surprised me with it for us to carry on the tradition.  It made me feel special for her to do that.  I love it.

This amazing old naked woman is a nutcracker.  She used to sit on my parents counter.  Ive always admired it.  They both thought it was pretty cool and funny when someone would see it for the first time.  Her legs open up and crack the nuts :)  I decided to hang her on the wall.

I can only imagine that my garden of 'things' will continue to grow as we get to the point of going through my parents house.  I know I cant keep everything, I just have such a sentimental heart, its hard.  The last two or three days I have had a stirring heart.  Ill share more in another post on this.

PEACE,

Laura

A beautiful collaboration...

The other day I received these beautiful coasters in the mail from my the lovely Jacy and her hubby David of Fleur-de-Stone.  You may remember a post a while back mentioning that they are now selling my photos on their coasters as an addition to their normal line.  She sent me these as a gift for being a part of their team.  And honestly, they could not be more beautiful in person if they tried.  They are simply stunning.  These photos completely 'pop' from the glaze that is on them.  Im so so so happy with them.  And its so very cool to display them in our new home.  They have 24 of my images that you can get on coasters, clocks, trivets, all sorts of things.  You can always find their site by clicking on the button at the bottom right column of my blog.

Thank you Jacy and David for these amazing little gifts.  They will be treasured forever.

PEACE,

Laura

My darling bella...

My little Bella kitty has been right by my side as usual lately.  The other day I was sitting in the garage going through some of my dad's old photos, and she came back there, and immediately noticed the box I had just emptied out.  I love how she squeezes herself into anything she can barely fit into.  It was nice to have her by my side.  Since being in this new house, she has developed new routines.  Since she can play in the yard unassisted now, it is her favorite place.  So now each morning she paws at me to go outside for her morning hour of bird watching and dirt rolling.  I cant believe she has picked that over her food obsession first thing in the morning!  If you know Bella, you know she loves her food.  And she just loves sitting on the edge of my desk by the window.  Not sure what Id do without this plump little furball right now. 

I finally found it in me to clean house today.  I feel so accomplished.  Seriously, the smallest of things right now seem so monumental to get done.  I still haven't folded my mound of laundry, but I will get to it.  I have been unable to bring myself to clean or do anything around the house for over a week now.  Which is very unlike me, I clean everyday, a bit obsessive maybe...  But it actually seemed to lift my soul to be able to tackle it today.  It was like a mini milestone in this grieving process.  Ive been finding that reading the books I ordered about this subject have really helped.  It has allowed me to feel normal with all of these crazy feelings Im having, and has shown me that so many others have been in my shoes.  Makes me feel not quite so alone.  I just ordered two more specifically on surviving after suicide loss.  I know that the only way I will heal and get through this is to face it in a real way, not just look the other direction.  

I would like to give a big thank you to all of my readers who have been leaving such sweet comments, and are still coming to my little corner of the world even though its a bit dark right now.  A part of me thinks I shouldnt share this stuff, but I feel I must.  Maybe somewhere someone will be helped by it.  And my personal thoughts on blogging (at least for me), is to keep it real to life.  As much as I love pretty photos and outfits posts, that is not what it is all about.  This is my little space to share all of my life, the ups and the downs, b/c lets face, we all have them.  We are all on this journey together and we can all learn from each other.  So, thank you.

PEACE,

Laura

Hidden in my dwelling...

Right now it feels good just to be home doing nothing.  Today was a rough day.  We had to go pick up my dad's ashes.  It was the weirdest feeling in the world walking out of that place with a box under my arm.  So bizarre.  I cant really describe my feelings from today.  Simply a day I am glad is almost over.  The highlights of my day were: being reminded that I have the best parent in laws ever.  getting a raspberry vanilla latte.  getting a card in the mail from christie.  getting mix cd's in the mail from kelly ann and listening to said cds.  talking to my best friend on the phone.

One thing I am very much looking forward to this week is being taken out again by my bestie.  She has invited me on a date this week to go eat sushi and go to the japanese tea gardens.  Its going to be perfect.

Have you entered my 5 giveaways yet???  See my last 5 posts to enter in them all!  They will end next sunday.

PEACE,

Laura