Soul searching for a moment >>>

Today (and the last few days) I really really really really miss my mom.  To the point where I feel like freaking out.  Although I know that will do me no good, so whats the point.  I just want to hear her voice, hug her, smell her, tell her how beautiful she is.  I miss my days with her so much.  I miss our talks.  She was always so good at bringing me out of a funk.  There are friends and family relationships in my life that are turning and changing, and it breaks my heart a little.  I wish I had her comfort.  I have so much comfort around me, Im truly blessed with amazing people in my life... but there is no other feeling in this world than the one that comes from your mom.  At least for me, I know this is not the case for many people, but for me, it is.  I find myself searching through the files in my brain, trying to hold on to a snip of her telling me something just to hear her voice in my mind.  But the harder I try, the harder it is to hear.  I think Im just feeling really unbalanced lately.  Too much work and not enough soul play.  I know this.  It just seems sometimes like Im never caught up.  But, just as I was freaking out to James the other night about how its getting to the point I cant do it all myself, an old friend shows up on my doorstep the next day and offers to help out possibly once a week, and go to yoga with me.  I know this is where I need to be.  I need to take better care of my body, and I need to allow myself to have help.  I like to think I can take on so much, but then at times it becomes exhausting.  

wow.  I think I really just needed to look within a bit more.  My body is telling me to slow down.  And to also take stock of the people in my life who want to be there just for me.  People who truly love me for who I am as a person, not as an artist, or as an emotional shoulder to lean on.  I like knowing I am a trusted friend that someone can come to when they need someone, but Im tired of only being called upon during those times.  Its time I really start paying more attention to that, and allowing myself to step away when I need to.  This is not just for friends, but for all people in my life.  

My heart is uneasy today, and I just really want my mom.  (insert a big pouty face)

PEACE,

Laura

Life + Daily Outfit + Giveaway Winner >>>

Yesterday we finally were able to make it in to Whole Foods this month to get some yummy food. It was James day off, which always means errand day.  It was a pretty stressful day.  James was back and forth on the phone all morning with his doctor and insurance companies.  James has a seizure disorder that he has to take meds for on a daily basis.  They are very important pills and something that can not be messed around with.  He has had 4 or 5 grand mal seizures since weve been married and it was just about the scariest thing Ive ever witnessed.  So anyway, this last time he got his prescription filled, they had come out with a generic of his med, so his insurance wont cover the regular ones anymore, but his doctor (who is an excellent doctor) has told us that it is not a good idea for him to take them, especially since its a drug for his brain.  Some generics are completely fine, but some are not so good.  Long story short, if we cannot find a way around this somehow, his pills will go from $60 a month to $800.  Outrageous!  That basically means we would lose our home over this.  But his doctor is fighting it for us and if worse comes to worse, we may have to switch his meds again, which is never easy or fun.  It is so so frustrating b/c its all about making money to these companies.  And since James works at a corporation with a tight hold on their insurance, he cant get his pills filled at other places or hell lose his insurance at work, which is half the reason he stays at that job.  I hate so much that he even has to take these pills everyday, it breaks my heart to know he has to have that stress and worry all time of possibly having a seizure.  Luckily so far, he has always been at home when he has had one, and not driving or something.  This is another thing that tops my list of fears.  I really do think Ill make a post about fear.  Some are legit and some are pretty silly, but Id like to start working through them instead of allowing them to continue ruling me.

Aside from all of that.... I was very happy to wear my new wooden birdie necklace c/o That Vintage.  I have admired this very necklace for quite some time (like a few years) now.  It is so beautiful in person, and it means so much to me now that when I see two birds together, I am reminded that my parents are back together.  Love this necklace.  

When the package arrived I was pleasantly greeted with adorable packaging.  I love her little birdie stamp and touches of twine.  The whole thing was impeccable.  Beautiful.  Sophie Hill is an amazing artist.

Id also like to announce the winner of the That Vintage giveaway!!!
Lauren from Of The Freckled Kind

PEACE,
Laura

Dead Gypsy Girl >>>

All day long yesterday I was feeling a bit sad that I wasn't going to be dressing up for the first time in my life for Halloween.  I was so busy with my work day, and after being so busy in general all month long, I sort of gave up on the idea of participating in my favorite holiday.  But as the hour approached to leave the house for our annual trick or treating with our friends kids, I couldnt bare it.  I threw together a last minute outfit, and had no idea what I was going to be as I was getting dressed.  But it turned out to be a half decent dead gyspy girl.  My heart was contented as we walked out the door.  Its crazy how unnatural it feels to not dress up.  We enjoyed walking the streets of our home town with our friends, and then bbqing at our other friends house out in the hills.  A good low key but fun evening full of beautiful people expressing themselves in the night.  Love it.  I wore one of my moms headscarves to top the outfit off.  She wore these when she lost all her hair from chemo and radiation.  And my Moorea Seal bracelets and Maie Dae ring were the icing on the cake :)

What did you dress up and do this halloween?

PEACE,

Laura

Homeade pop tart picnic >>>

Yesterday afternoon I made the homeade pop tarts that were featured on A Beautiful Mess a few weeks ago. Ive been thinking about them ever since that post!  And I finally got a day available to do so.  I made the apple and pumpkin ones.  And I wore my adorable purple crocheted apron the Amber from Hoot-n-Annie made me!!!  It was a beautiful day outside yesterday, so I decided to turn it into a picnic (dinner).  Maybe not the best idea to have pop tarts and milk for dinner, we both got tummy aches afterwards, but it was so good and so fun!  And Violet tried her best to get in on the fun as well.  James and I have been dreaming lately of how we want to fix up the back yard next year.  We havent done much with it yet since weve only been here for half a year (I cant believe its already been that long).  But we dream of a back covered deck, a full garden, lots of plants and colorful trees, little pathways and green grass.  One day...

Have I said lately how much I love my husband???  He is the most adorable boy I know.  And so so sweet to me.  I love him so much I could pop.

PEACE,

Laura