MAKING HEALTHY CHOICES

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I am trying to make some healthier choices in my day to day routine.  Once again I have found myself in a rut of old habits and its time to turn the wheel.  Here are a few things Ive been trying to do lately to help that...  Starting with breakfast.  I am a fried egg junkie.  Period.  I realized the other day that I had eaten fried eggs for breakfast for almost a month straight.  I decided to start mixing it up again with one of my other favorites that I have let fallen to second, yogurt, berries & granola.  I need to learn to switch it up more often... but I get so into my habits... especially with food.

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When Im in my unhealthy habit routine I will grab a granola bar and call it lunch, and eat while I am packaging up packages or answering emails.  This. is. no. good.  When Im in my healthy habit state I generally eat some sort of 'pickers' lunch like this depending on what we have on hand, and eat it outside if the weather is nice... with no technology!  I need alot more of this in my life.

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Dinner is tricky around our house b/c James and I have very different eating habits and tastes.  I eat alot more pasta and chicken than I would on my own b/c it is what he loves.  I don't mind so much, but I do love the nights where we each cook our own meals... Like this huge chicken salad.  It had apples, almonds, grapes, dried cherries and feta with strawberry balsalmic dressing.  I actually really love making my own dinners. 

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Snack time for me is usually a shake.  And I won't lie, I don't make the 'healthiest' of shakes.  There is nothing bad in it, but it is quite fattening Im sure... but I love it, and I don't care.  Usually has almond milk, flax oil, banana, peanut or almond butter, coconut oil, cinnamon, green powder & ice... and just recently I found out about adding curry and pumpkin spice to shakes, so that goes in there too.  Oh, and dates or figs.  So so yummy!!!

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Drinking more herbal tea.  Since I got the tea mix from Danmala Teas I am way more excited to make tea than just with my normal tea bags.  This takes it to a whole new dimension.  I just tried this blend called Bohemia and oh my I am in love.  It is sweet and floral, which I actually thought I would not like, but I was blown away with its taste.  It is just right.  And is not ridiculously beautiful?

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I tend to wait to use my essential oils until I am in dire need of them... like when Im in the middle of a migraine or really pms-ing.  I have been trying to remember to use my favorite oil blend Clary Calm a few days before I start those feelings and it really helps me when I do.  Another daily self nourishing thing I have been using is LaLaEarth's breast butter for daily and life long breast health.  It is so important to me since I came from a line of women with breast cancer including my mom and grandmother, and lost my mom to it.  This is probably my favorite self nourishing thing I do.  (I'm not sure if its still active, but try using the code ROOTS10 for 10% off anything in her shop)

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Another big healthy choice I am trying to make is more quality time with James.  As with any relationship there are ups and downs, ebbs and flows... and with the preparation of selling my parents house, the cold winter months that seem to be dragging on, bouts of moodiness and depression from both of us, work stress, lack of time with friends, lack of exercise and the list probably goes on and on... we have found ourselves in a bit of a slump.  A slump of stagnation.  So we made a joint effort after finally communicating about it to bring back more of our fun things we used to do together, like playing scrabble.  (of course I kicked his ass, but that is besides the point... right?)  And any other little thing we can do or ways we can think of each other...  Relationship and marriage is alot of fun, but also alot of work, and sometimes it is downright scary at how hum drum it can be at times... But we have both learned over the years sometimes you just need to pay more attention, change your routine, put the focus back on each other, list the things you are grateful for, and do the things that feel like 'play' together more often.  Its a constant learning process.

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Yoga.  Need I say more?  NO, but I will... I have been doing yoga off and on since I was about 18.  Um... almost 14 years now... but sadly I have never allowed myself a very loooong duration of being fully committed to it.  I take time off, I do it once a week, or once a month, sometimes everyday for a little while, then back to every now and then.  I realized the other day how desperate my body was for movement, and I remember I had this dvd set my friend let me borrow.  (I need to return it soon so I will be getting my own copy soon, its worth it).  This video kicks my butt and is way different than the gentle yoga I do in my local town when I attend class... but I like it b/c it feels more like a real work out.  And since there are so many different dvds that focus on different things you don't get bored.  I get bored easily with doing the same dvd routine over and over again.  With any kind of workout.  I think that is why I never stick with them.  Anyway, I love The Ultimate Yogi, so thank you Marissa for letting me borrow it all this time!  It feels good to be back on the mat.

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My biggest personal favorite way of showing myself love is through the bath.  Probably b/c I am a cancer and so connected to water.  When I am in the bathtub I can really think, bliss out, read, write, whatever it is I feel I need to get out or do during that time... I can focus more fully than I can out of the water.  Out of the water I am fidgety, I can't keep myself contained to one space... I can truly relax in the water.  There was a period a little while back when I realized I hadn't taken a bath in what felt like a few months, which is almost unheard of for me.  I realized quickly this might be part of why I was feeling so off.  Water grounds me, and connects me to spirit.  I need my time in water.


Do you have any old or bad habits you feel like you need to release right now?  What is keeping you from doing so?  Are there things you used to take more time for but now realize they are in your distant past?  How can you resurrect them today?  Remember, it really is a choice.

BREAKING SILENCE

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I love the water by our house at sunset.  We came here after an emotionally upsetting afternoon the other day.  We came down to our river access to dump our trash and I asked James if we could take a quick walk by the river before we went back home... I felt like I just needed to be close to the earth a little bit longer before going back to our house. 

Earlier we went to my parents house to clean out a shed that we will be moving to our house, and almost immediately after arriving to their land I felt myself well up with anger.  James asked me what was wrong within a few minutes of being there and I couldn't even look him in the eye or talk.  I was boiling.  He finally stopped me, made me look him in the eyes and tell him what was hurting me.  I burst into giant tears and finally expressed how angry I was that we were selling my parents home.  Up till then, I had only expressed sadness, but this was sadness and immense anger mixed in.  I told him how angry I was that everyone in my life has told me that we need to sell the place and that we shouldn't live there.  I know that hurt him, b/c he is one of the people.  But I couldn't hold it in any longer.  He held me and let me cry on his shoulder for as long as I needed to.  As much as I didn't want to release that, it felt so good to. 

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I took this photo down by our river on our walk afterwards.  I loved the way the sun was shining through my tear stained face.  The past year has riddled me with knowing what to do with my parents house.  My heart has been so torn with what I desire and what is feasible in reality, along with not being selfish with just my own feelings in the mix, b/c I am not the only person in my world.  Money has been an issue.  Emotions of my dad's suicide has been an issue.  But losing this piece of my heart has also been a big issue. 

People tell me all day long... its just house, your memories are in your heart.  just take lots of photos.  that was your parents dream, make your own.  the list goes on and on and on, and honestly... none of them make me feel better.  some of them even piss me off.  Im probably alot more attached to things than alot of people, I'm sentimental as $%&*.  Losing my parents was out of my hands, I couldn't control that.  And now even though I feel like I should be able to, I can't control this either.  It's been a long process, and as we really prepare to put the house up for sale, its becoming ever so real.  Moving the shed for some reason feels final.  It's a huge shed, and we are having to put up a good chunk of change just to get it to our house.  It feels like once we do this, there is no turning back.  I know that is not truth.. but there has to come a point where I feel content with this decision.  I need to get to a point where I can walk away feeling a weight lifted, a freedom, a release.  Right now, I just feel rage.  That is the best word I can use.  When I think of selling their home I feel my body clench and I want to put my fist through a wall.  (and this is not a feeling I feel about anything very often)...

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This may look gruesome to some... but these are some treasures I found while exploring in the woods while we were there.  I had to check out for a bit while we were cleaning the shed, so while James finished up I took a walk through the woods.  Everytime I do, I feel like Im in a magical world Im just discovering for the first time.  I keep finding spots in the woods I never knew growing up.  Or at least don't remember.  And trees.  Oh the trees Ive been finding.  I could get lost in the woods for hours.  I feel like my spirit bursts open when I'm in them. 

I wrote this on my facebook wall the day we went out there...

"Since I cannot afford the dream of living in the magical piece of the world that was once my parents... Today I start the dream of manifesting a new magical piece of the world that I can call my own. I dream of one day living in a home surrounded by the woods with places of wonder that I can go to reconnect on a daily basis. A place where my one day children can roam and learn about nature. A place where I can feel truly free to just be. I may not be able to afford it now, and I am opening up a HUGE hole in my heart by letting my parents property go... but I will one day fill it back up with this dream of mine."

I feel like this is what I have to hold onto right now.  This dream.  There has got to be another side to this story.

PIECES OF HOME

One of the many custom dreamcatchers I created this week...

One of the many custom dreamcatchers I created this week...

A gorgeous bracelet sent to me from The Uncommon Wren.  Just adore her work...

A gorgeous bracelet sent to me from The Uncommon Wren.  Just adore her work...

Just a little selfie from this week...

Just a little selfie from this week...

Shadows...

Shadows...

The prettiest egg...

The prettiest egg...

I re-arranged my bedroom and Bella instantly found a cozy nook...

I re-arranged my bedroom and Bella instantly found a cozy nook...

On a shake kick.  I just learned I can add curry to my shakes and I'm obsessed.

On a shake kick.  I just learned I can add curry to my shakes and I'm obsessed.

My Bella.  Finding a moment of light.  She has been under the weather this whole week.  Changing her medications has left her with little appetite and alot of sleep.  Its been hard to watch... so this moment made my heart so happ…

My Bella.  Finding a moment of light.  She has been under the weather this whole week.  Changing her medications has left her with little appetite and alot of sleep.  Its been hard to watch... so this moment made my heart so happy.

I had a full day of Tori the other day.  It had been a while so it was like memory lane...

I had a full day of Tori the other day.  It had been a while so it was like memory lane...

All of the girls of The Bohemian Collective shared their sacred spaces over on the blog for International Love Day!

All of the girls of The Bohemian Collective shared their sacred spaces over on the blog for International Love Day!